Darkest Part Of The Valley

Sitting an Open House Together on Sunday
December 7, 2008

My sweet husband has always sat Open Houses with me, since I've been in the real estate business. He goes as my security guy, but we enjoy the three hours we spend together on those particular Sundays! This new listing is in our neighborhood, so it's 2 minutes from our house, and it's also for our friends, so the atmosphere is quite comfortable for David.

Speaking of David's comfort, here is the latest news. The cancer in his hip is causing him a considerable amount of pain. He has been on steroids, which helped in the beginning, but are no longer effective, so we're reconsidering the radiation treatment for the cancer in his hip.

The edema in David's feet was quite bad yesterday, so I took him to the doctor today. That's to be expected when the blood clot on the portal vein is as bad as it is. I asked her to tell us EXACTLY what the blood clot and the tumor in David's liver looked like, so she drew us a graphic picture that was quite horrifying; I will never forget it, and makes me cherish every single minute of every single day with him, even more...

As much hope as I have for a MIRACLE still, the real side of me sees just how far his cancer has advanced, AND.... how quickly. I've scoured medical abstracts, journals, articles, and everything I can get my hands on; every night until 2 and 3 in the morning. Everything I read gives a grim report for this monstrous disease. Once it's at this stage, a person has 3-6 months, and December 26th is our 3rd month, so I cannot even begin to express my fear, anxiety, pain, and dread of knowing that any time, from here on out, the presence of my husband can be taken like a thief in the night, which is the most scary thing I ever imagined.

God's amazing Grace continues to carry us through this valley...

David is putting up a good fight. I am working hard to do all I can to keep him happy, healthy, comfortable, and living as long as possible.

We did meet with Hospice this week, in our home, which was very, very hard. We didn't sign up with them, because David wasn't ready, and I can't say that I blame him, because that is probably one of the most impossible contracts to sign; knowing that it's your 'end of life' care! We are still fighting this ugly disease, but we do want to have everything in place for when he does turn that corner (the dreadful day that we don't look forward to). We will have David at home to the very end, as that is where he wants to be.

I pray for comfort and peace for David, every day, and I also pray for continued strength as we begin walking through the darkest part of the valley, because knowing how hard the days have been to this point, I sense that every day from here on out will be harder still. When it comes to loving and protecting my family, I'm a strong fighter; so I am preparing for the battle of my life, by supporting him through his pain, and by loving him as he leaves this world wrapped up in my arms.

Thank you all (every single one of you) for keeping us in your prayers, and for continuing to walk along side us.

With Love,
Linda