Our Journey: Evergreen Hospice Center

Leo came to see his Dad - it's nice they let dogs visit.

Arriving here on January 7th, and taken to room 7 seemed weird to me, because the number 7 has always been David's favorite number, which makes me wonder if God will take David home on the 7th day...... Today is the 5th.

This has been the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life. I've been asked by several people who know that I've also lost my 30-year-old son, if it's easier when a loved one goes instantly, or when you have time to say good-bye. That's a valid question, and my answer would be that neither is easier! Eric's death happened in an instant, and was a complete SHOCK! And David's is absolute TORTURE, because watching your husband of 30 years die before your very eyes, in a matter of months, is almost incomprehensible.

David's pain has been manageable until today. His stomach is quite large now, and the two huge tumors in his liver, and his portal vein are continuing to grow, so they have increased his meds once again. He is now on oxygen, and his voice is mostly a whisper. For the most part, he sleeps, and I watch him, which is a very sad existence for a once vibrantly healthy, active man! It's very hard to watch the transition, and I can't even allow my mind to process that soon David's presence will no longer be here.

Bless his heart, David is always still a gentleman, even as drugged as he is....when he burps he'll say, 'excuse me,' and...when he coughs, if I'm close by, he covers his mouth. The poor guy has been so trained by the 'germ freak' that I am, that even on his death bed, he has concerns about germs, and extremely good manners. One of his nurses told me the same thing about him - that he was such a gentleman.

It was David's wish for me to continue the blog about Our Journey, and he is still wanting us to take pictures and tell our story. So, please know that I am not continuing to take pictures without his consent, or tell part of our story without his approval.

I remember the words I wrote when Eric died so suddenly. "The stinging pain of the sudden death of an adult child made me 'forever changed." And now, as I walk a very slow 'death journey,' I am once again 'forever changed,' in an entirely different way, but somehow through all the pain and suffering, I know that God has a good work for me to do, and that He will use me, and my experiences for His Greater Glory.

With Love,
Linda

Edema in David's feet and legs is quite severe;
we need to move and prop them frequently.

The Love Of My Life...losing his battle with liver cancer.

Michelle comes to love on her Dad every single day.
David still wants to smile for the camera. God love him!

Jada visits frequently, loving Gramp with long, sweet hugs.

Gramp sweetly kissing Jada's forehead.

Gramp loving Jada - a lingering and loving hug...

Nani loving David
Giving him an hour massage on both his legs and arms every day.
What an ANGEL! Not only is Nani by my side 24/7, she brings love and joy to my husband by serving him in such a sweet way.